To those suffering, help, support and love is a lot closer than you think.
To fully concede that I was powerless over my addiction, that despite my best efforts, my life had become completely unmanageable and that I desperately needed help was the hardest step for me to take in my journey of recovery.
Truth be told, the step, or the shove, came from people around who cared more about me than I did.
I had been aimlessly walking in the wilderness for a long time.
Guided by my bloated, defective ego and powered by insane denial I kept walking.
It was a slow descent but year on year things kept getting progressively worse.
It seemed like the loneliest place on earth towards the end, when I finally reached the jumping off place.
Everything I loved fell away, as escape to oblivion seemed like the only course I could take.
To numb everything.
Not that I could see that at the time – having had my eyes opened today, it seems a tad naive to say that now, It must have been obvious – but I didn’t see it at all back then.
I was still working to the blame agenda of being convinced that it was everybody and everything else that was the problem, not me.
Alcohol and drugs were my friends, the only ones I had left, and I’d do anything to protect them.
I fought, and then fought some more. A small piece of my spirit darkening with every defeat.
And I did lose every time.
Underestimating addiction can be fatal, as it nearly was for me.
It’s number 1 method of progress is based on convincing it’s host that he or she isn’t sick; that they can control their lives despite the increasing excesses, lies, denial and the ever increasing emotional debts that have to be paid, continuously, as a result.
It steals your spirit from right in front of your eyes, and everything else you care about.
But as catastrophically soul-destroying as addiction is, recovery is just a humble admittance away.
Your whole life can start to change when you utter the words out loud…’I need help’
The price of entry is an acknowledgement of defeat to your infected self, accepting whatever help comes your way, listening and then following the suggestions on offer, from people who have been exactly where you are today.
The fighting can stop.
It sounds simple, and it really is, although the complicated mind of the man or woman who still suffers will make it harder.
That is the nature of the disease. The team and community at Headway Recovery Living can help you with that. Connect with us to find out more about our residential and virtual recovery programs and start the process of recovering right now.